Friday, December 15, 2017
Alone
Thid blog is kinda like a ghost town now. I’m the only one who posts here every once in a while. It used to be a boomtown, with 1/3 Of a grade using it. But alas, those times are over. I always keep this tab open on my browser, because I don’t want to forget. Tonight is the Winter Dance, or the “SnowBall” as people like to call it. Almost all of the people who used to post here will be going. I don’t know what happened. It’s a graveyard of old ideas. Nobody remembers. Nobody minds. The world should know these ideas. It never will, fully at least. Yesterday the FCC voted to end Title 2 Net Neutrality. The internet’s worried. It’s not that we haven’t faced hard times before, it’s just that this is the first time we’ve been really targeted by a government organization. The power of the meme will never die, but the power that allows memes to exist might soon. We will live.
Friday, December 1, 2017
The Sting
So, in language arts, we were tasked with writing an Urban Legend Script, then perform it as a radio Play. Mine is supposed to be a parody of “The Spider Bite.” The lady is supposed to be abusive towards her dog, but I didn’t have time to write that in by the time the assignment was due. Please enjoy.
STING
A One Act Radio Play
By: Gideon Aigner
Cast Of Characters
Reneeseme: Girl in late teens. Hates everybody. Owner of Ajax.
Ajax: 5 year old Saint Bernard.
(Reneeseme wakes up to a buzzing sound likened to a electric clipper)
R: Where in the Sweet Jimity §}%# is THAT coming from?!
(Reneeseme gets out of the bed and slowly walks through the house.)
R: Hello? Is anybody th-(stubs toe on door) NAME OF A CHURCH FOR BEAVERS! I knew this doorframe was too small! DANG IT! I’m fed up with this tiny friggin’ house!
(R is so mad that she kicks over the statue of Ajax.)
R: Dang it! Stupid dog. Where is he anyway? AJAX!?
(Reneeseme slowly creeps down the stairs. A buzzing sound slowly starts to increase in volume.)
R: Did I leave the TV on? No, I definitely turned that off. Water? That would explain if there was a drip, but not the buzz. Microwave? Maybe? No. I don’t own a microwave. AJAX!?
(As she is questioning herself, Reneeseme starts to turn the corner. She spots the head of Ajax around the corner.)
R: Why is the buzz getting louder? AJAX!! OVER HERE!!!
(The head doesn’t move. Reneeseme creeps closer. The buzzing gets louder. She continues to make her way past the marble island.)
R: Hello there Ajax! How are you boy? Ajax? Aja-
(Reneeseme realizes why Ajax hadn’t responded to her calling. There was an Australian Sheepdog sized Wasp slowly bursting out of the dog’s chest. It’s wings were buzzing as hard as it tried to escape it’s prison of ribs.)
R: What in the hell?!?!
(As Reneeseme starts to run, she bumps into the records player. Panic! At The Disco’s “Death Of A Bachelor” comes on. Reneeseme stops momentarily.)
R: How fitting. (Makes popping sound with lips) Noice.
(She feels a sharp pain in her leg. She turns sharply, not increasing the pain in any way. Behind her is the wasp. There is something different about it. It’s stinger is red. And dripping.)
R: Wait. Wha- Oh No. No. No. No. NOOOOOO!
(Reneeseme rushes to the bathroom, slamming the door on the wasp. Her leg looks worse than it feels. There is a huge gash running from the middle of her calf to her Achilles’ heel.)
R: Mother #(@“$’@“$(+/%,#”&(@(&€}~<_^£¥!!! Ooooooh!
(The skin around the sting was starting to turn black)
R: What in the bloody hell?! I can’t feel my leg! (She starts to rummage through the bandage cabinet) I saw a little book in here earlier! (Finds book) YES! (Starts flipping through.) NECROSIS!?! #(@‘! My leg is gonna fall off! (She looks at her hands helplessly. She sees that her veins are starting to turn black.) It’s spreading… it’s spreading… I can feel it. The burning fire. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! #@‘$!
(Wriggling sound effects)
R: What? Is that? (She feels something under her skin, about to burst. It’s in her thigh.) Hnnnnnnnng…
(Burst sound effect from Alien)
R: What!? Oooooooooh……
N: The last thing that Reneeseme ever saw was a giant red and white wasp stinger in front of her eye.
THE END
STING
A One Act Radio Play
By: Gideon Aigner
Cast Of Characters
Reneeseme: Girl in late teens. Hates everybody. Owner of Ajax.
Ajax: 5 year old Saint Bernard.
(Reneeseme wakes up to a buzzing sound likened to a electric clipper)
R: Where in the Sweet Jimity §}%# is THAT coming from?!
(Reneeseme gets out of the bed and slowly walks through the house.)
R: Hello? Is anybody th-(stubs toe on door) NAME OF A CHURCH FOR BEAVERS! I knew this doorframe was too small! DANG IT! I’m fed up with this tiny friggin’ house!
(R is so mad that she kicks over the statue of Ajax.)
R: Dang it! Stupid dog. Where is he anyway? AJAX!?
(Reneeseme slowly creeps down the stairs. A buzzing sound slowly starts to increase in volume.)
R: Did I leave the TV on? No, I definitely turned that off. Water? That would explain if there was a drip, but not the buzz. Microwave? Maybe? No. I don’t own a microwave. AJAX!?
(As she is questioning herself, Reneeseme starts to turn the corner. She spots the head of Ajax around the corner.)
R: Why is the buzz getting louder? AJAX!! OVER HERE!!!
(The head doesn’t move. Reneeseme creeps closer. The buzzing gets louder. She continues to make her way past the marble island.)
R: Hello there Ajax! How are you boy? Ajax? Aja-
(Reneeseme realizes why Ajax hadn’t responded to her calling. There was an Australian Sheepdog sized Wasp slowly bursting out of the dog’s chest. It’s wings were buzzing as hard as it tried to escape it’s prison of ribs.)
R: What in the hell?!?!
(As Reneeseme starts to run, she bumps into the records player. Panic! At The Disco’s “Death Of A Bachelor” comes on. Reneeseme stops momentarily.)
R: How fitting. (Makes popping sound with lips) Noice.
(She feels a sharp pain in her leg. She turns sharply, not increasing the pain in any way. Behind her is the wasp. There is something different about it. It’s stinger is red. And dripping.)
R: Wait. Wha- Oh No. No. No. No. NOOOOOO!
(Reneeseme rushes to the bathroom, slamming the door on the wasp. Her leg looks worse than it feels. There is a huge gash running from the middle of her calf to her Achilles’ heel.)
R: Mother #(@“$’@“$(+/%,#”&(@(&€}~<_^£¥!!! Ooooooh!
(The skin around the sting was starting to turn black)
R: What in the bloody hell?! I can’t feel my leg! (She starts to rummage through the bandage cabinet) I saw a little book in here earlier! (Finds book) YES! (Starts flipping through.) NECROSIS!?! #(@‘! My leg is gonna fall off! (She looks at her hands helplessly. She sees that her veins are starting to turn black.) It’s spreading… it’s spreading… I can feel it. The burning fire. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! #@‘$!
(Wriggling sound effects)
R: What? Is that? (She feels something under her skin, about to burst. It’s in her thigh.) Hnnnnnnnng…
(Burst sound effect from Alien)
R: What!? Oooooooooh……
N: The last thing that Reneeseme ever saw was a giant red and white wasp stinger in front of her eye.
THE END
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