There was once a boy who dreamed of flying
Told to keep those thoughts away
Told to lock them into the abyss
For " safe keeping " they would say
" Whats hidden inside can't be missed"
The wings stolen till late May
The truth hidden with a sharp hiss
For " you are but a single stray
Whats inside you are to diss"
Why can't he feel the ocean spray
Why should he be told to hide in mist
There was once a boy who dreamed of escaping
14 comments:
Wow, this is great. I love how it shows that hiding can cause pain, or that the boy didn't want to hide.
have you ever needed to "hide in mist"?
I think this is such a great writing, I absolutly love the first and last line. And I think the title is like a tiny summary of the whole thing. Keep it up!!
The first and last line are really stuck to me I love pieces like this! Keep it up!
Wow. That was really good. I don't get why the people had to clip his wings though.
I had a loss of words reading this. (It literally took me 10 minutes to type this.) When you use those pieces of dialogue to help shape the story, it makes everything so much more better. Not that it wasn't good in the first place. I really enjoyed this post and I am so happy you published it,
This is so great! The first line drew me in, and then the last line tied it all together. Those lines really spoke to me. Great job!
This reminds me of a movie that had that exact same line
This is really great! This reminds me of a old movie. It's short, yet so powerful.
This is so great. I agree very much on how hiding pain can cause more pain.
That was written so well, you started out well and it didn't disappoint.
The beginning and end went great together it shows hiding pain can bring more pain
Wow this is kind of deep I relate to these feelings and locking things up.
This poem is really good. There is such hope and despair at the same time.
Beautiful poem, and it excites the senses for the reader. A bit of forced rhyming, but you disguised it well. Even the poem spreads like wings; very symmetrical from the first, middle, and ending lines.
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